Today, I learned that when it comes to live poker, I don’t have a B game. I have an A game and a D- game.

I showed up several hours early for the $120 PokerPro Event. For those of you who don’t know, PokerPro tables are the electronic tables they have at Crown and used to have at Excalibur in Las Vegas. The format is a double shootout with 9 tables and 9 players per table for a field of 81.

We start with 20k stacks and 20 minute levels. This structure is actually better than it looks (although far from fantastic) since we see at least twice as many hands per hour on a PokerPro table when compared to a live table.

The blinds start at 50/100 and i’ve chipped up to 21k when I find myself involved in my first major pot. We’re still 9 handed and villain has ~20k. Villain is CO and is a somewhat competent but not particularly good aggressive player. Similar to a breakeven $3.30 MTTer online maybe and with a similar playstyle.

Folded to me in MP, I raise to 250 with 7h 4h, CO calls, BB calls.

Flop: Qc 7c 4d

BB checks, I bet 600, CO calls, BB folds

Turn: 9d

I bet 1600
CO raises 2400 to 4000
I consider my options. I figure villain’s range is likely to consist of AQ-Q9, 99 and combo draws. QQ is very unlikely since he just called preflop in position and 44, 77 and two pair combos also seem unlikely since I have a four and seven in my hand.

I consider raising, realise he’s not going to call a raise with one pair and i’m just going to get stacked if he has nines so I elect to call and checkcall any safe river (basically any non club)

River: Jh

A fairly safe although not perfectly safe offsuit jack hits, completing one of the potential combo draws and giving QJ a better two pair but missing everything else.

I check, villain presses the 5000 chip button (his bet sizing as he decides on the amount is visible to me on the screen) and then thinks for a bit before deciding to add another 1000 chip and 500 chip. He then elects to bet 6,500. I can’t see him betting KQ for value here but he might have AQ and he’s certainly firing with all of the semi-bluffed draws that didn’t get there.

I start talking to villain and tell him I have two pair and ask him if he wants me to call. He looks freaked out and tells me to do whatever I want to do. I decide to call and just as i’m about to hit the call button on my screen, I time out and my hand is folded. FUCK FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHEN DID THEY CHANGE THE POKERPRO TIMERS FROM 30 SECONDS TO 15 SECONDS.

To add insult to injury, villain shows AKo for absolute air and i’m down to 15k.

That’s the D- portion of my tournament, from here on out i’m playing my absolute A game, some of the best poker i’ve played in months. Even this hand, my decision making was fine but not paying attention to my surroundings (in this case the clock) cost me dearly.

I go set mining twice and miss, go card dead and fold for a while then find myself involved again with ~14k. By now, the blinds have gone up to 200/400.

Dealt to SwoopAE: Tc 8c

UTG limps, UTG+1 limps, it folds around to me on the button. UTG is the type of player who could easily limp aces so I figure my implied odds are good enough with two passive players in the blinds and limp behind on the button. Yes, I know this is terrible online, but I think it’s okay live in this spot since I have an enormous edge in position postflop. SB completes and BB checks.

Flop: 9h 6c 5c

Well, hello!

SB checks, BB (a bad middle aged guy who is your typical live donk) looks like he wants to bet but then elects to check at the last minute, UTG and UTG+1 check, I bet 1,000 (trying to induce a raise from BB so I can 3bet jam since he raises ‘for information’ a lot and folds to a jam). SB folds, BB considers his options and elects to call, UTG and UTG+1 fold.

Turn: 4c

Cool. BB looks pleased with the card and donks out 1,000. I raise to 4,500 and again, he elects to call. I only have about 7,500 behind and I figure he’s calling my river shove too.

River: 5h

BB immediately checks and looks quite disappointed with the card. I pretend to think for a bit (it probably looks weak to this guy) and then bet 6,000 which I think actually does look weaker than all in to villain since he’s already rambled on about his tournament life on several occasions. He thinks for a few seconds and then folds. I think he had a counterfeited two pair but then he decides to show the Ac and says he had ‘another big card’ with it. Okay then.

Shortly after the hand, I raise to 1000 with As Qs and villain from the hand where I timed out jams his now short stack of about 6k, he’s been reshoving a lot since he got crippled so I quickly call and he tables A6. The board runs out 55627 and sadly, I lose a 70/30 for a decent chunk of my stack.

I start opening a ton of pots at 300/600 since the table has become 7 handed and nitty and I accumulate nicely without showdowns. I’m back to about 16k without a showdown when the same villain from the previous two hands I lost open shoves for about 8k; I find 99 on the button and reshove, everyone else folds and villain shows AJ which I figure is close to the top of his range. He quickly binks an ace on the flop and I lose yet another significant chunk of my stack to the same villain.

I chip up some more then get all in against a different short stack at 500/1000 who only has a couple BB and lose with A9 to 66 when I brick out. This leaves me with 5,500 chips at the start of 700/1400. I open shove five times in two orbits without callers and get a walk, putting me back to 15k without showdown. We’re now 5 handed and i’m the short stack.

I’m under the gun and about to shove any two again when I find a beautiful Kd Kh in the hole. I limp in (lol, donkaments, my limping range is AA/KK but no player at the table is anywhere near competent enough to know this) and the button limps, SB jams ~15k and I call, he has AQ and I hold to move back to ~32k. SB is eliminated since we have exactly the same stack size and we’re 4 handed; stacks are approximately 65k/50k/33k/32k.

I start opening a ton of pots again and get 3bet once but find little resistance otherwise. I’m at about 35k when I find Ad Ks under the gun. The blinds have just hit 1k/2k. I raise to 6k and the other short guy who now has 1bb less than me jams. He’s the second best player at the table. I snap and he has AJ; again, my hand holds and we’re left with me (60k), nitty woman to my left who has been gifted two doubleups (80k) and the guy who I timed out against who also won a 70/30 and a flip against me. Damn it, those are my chips, bitch.

I chip up to 65k over the next couple orbits then guy who has all of my chips elects to open jam 20bb on the button. I wake up with 7h 7c in the BB and a tough decision; he’s been all in a lot, is very aggro when short and I guess his shoving range is roughly 22-99, A2+ K9+ QT+ (he’s been caught shoving any two before and although he’s not very good, he is a somewhat thinking player who understands aggression when short stacked).

This is where i’m in a tough spot. The woman will fold her stack away HU so if I win this hand, I win phase 1 of the tournament. If I call and lose, i’m short with 25k and their stacks are similar at 75-80k.

I decide I have him crushed way more than he has me crushed and I decide I can’t pass on a 55/45 edge against his range in this spot with 1.5bb also dead in the pot. I call and villain tables A8o. Yeah, I knew he was light. Sadly, we’re still flipping. This is it, baby… one time!

Flop: Kc 9s 7d

ZOMG I HAZ SET SHIP IT!~!~!~!~

Turn: Js
River: Th

Wait what? Has a straight? FUCKFUCKFUCKWTF!!!!!

Why won’t this guy just die!

I’m left with 25k against villain (my new nickname for this guy) who has 80k and nit woman who has 75k.

I go card dead but pick up some chips when I find KQ and ship over villain’s 6k button raise, amusingly he folds for only about 15k more. I slowly pushbot my way back to about 29k and then find K9 in the SB. Nitwoman folds and villain goes into the tank before calling with A8. Please, for the love of God, let me get there one time against this guy. King or a nine please.

Flop: 742
Turn: 6
River: Q

Or not. I wish both players luck, mentioning that whoever wins this MUST win the final table for my sanity before heading off to the arcade to play Time Crisis 4. I can truly say I played a flawless tournament with the exception of timing out due to not paying attention in that one hand and I haven’t crushed souls this hard at a poker table in a long, long time (i’m talking March and April when I was upswinging)

After some delicious Indian food, I head back to the hostel and watch Saving Private Ryan and Blade Runner back to back. I’ve somehow never seen either movie and I find both to be highly overrated; Saving Private Ryan was an average war movie and Blade Runner, despite its reputation as one of the best sci-fi movies of all time, was simply beyond awful. I mean 1-1.5 star awful. Maybe I just didn’t get the movie but it seems both boring and pretentious with stupid portions of the plot that made no sense and Harrison Ford’s main character just seemed to be lacking any sort of motivation at all for his actions, which really hurts in a story-based Sci-Fi movie. One of the best Sci-Fi movies of all time? Hardly. It was simply awful.

I’m taking tomorrow off poker and then playing the $1100 6max on Tuesday plus the $240 HA w/ $100 rebuys if I bust early from the 6max. As much as I enjoy HA tournaments, I hope I don’t get to play this one