I wake up early for a change and head into Caesars for the Megastack at midday. The first few levels are fairly uneventful; we start with 15k at 25/50 and i’m finding some premium hands although getting little action and I manage to chip up to 20k without any major showdowns. Unfortunately, around the start of the 75/150 level, the poker gods decide to flip my doomswitch and i’m card dead for several hours. I manage to stay afloat between 16-18k for several levels by picking up hands, isolating limpers and bluffing in postflop spots but accumulating at a table full of TAGs is next to impossible when i’m card dead. Eventually the table breaks and I take 17k to my new table at 200/400/50. I drop to about 15k then a short stack shoves about 4k into my aces so I find my way back to 19k. I find spots to 3bet twice (once with air, once with jacks) and get 4bet shoved on both times, the second time by a total nit whose range is QQ+ AK so I have to lay it down.

I remain mostly uninvolved until 400/800/100 and i’ve climbed back to around 20k stealing blinds and isolating weak players in hands when eventually I get involved again. I find Qd Jd, a weak player limps, I raise to 5x, he calls and then check-raises all in on an Axx flop and I have to give it up. That one hurts and i’m down to 11k. I pushbot my way back to 15k by the ridiculous 80 minute dinner break and head over to the Augustus Cafe to use part of my stockpile of $10 food vouchers that I have accumulated on a meal. After some delicious chicken, I find my way back to the poker room and prepare for some pushbotting with my 12bb stack.

After a couple of hands, I find myself involved in my first significant pot of the day on the small blind.

Effective stacks ~15k (both villains cover me) at 600/1200/100

Dealt to SwoopAE: Qc Qs

Folds to the button who is a super loose fish who almost minraises to 2500. I think it over for a couple of seconds and decide that 3betting is better than jamming against this guy whose opening range is literally any two, since I do want to get it in here.

Then something weird happens. At the EXACT same moment that I announce raise, the BB throws in three yellow 1k chips to go with his 1200 already out there which is 4200 total. Odd. The dealer says that my raise changes the action so he can take his almost minreraise back. The BB then says he didnt mean to raise to 4200 and was intending to call. I ask for the floor and the floor rules he can take his raise back. Odd. After it’s all sorted, the dealer says that my raise stands and regardless of my raise amount, the BB can take his chips back. I elect to raise to 6600 (lol donkaments, but it’s live poker and they’re both fish so whatever) and the BB now decides to fold instead of min3bet. Okay then. Button decides to call though, despite it being completely obvious that I have a monster.

Flop: As 9s 2c

I check, BB announces the good old ‘i’ll put you all in’ for my remaining 8k and I snapcall with my queens, he tables Jc 9c and i’m way ahead but I have to dodge five outs.

Turn: 8c
River: 4h

I fade the 5-outer and double to around 30k.

A few hands later, a weak player who limpfolds a lot decides to limp UTG, a deepstacked loose-passive guy limps behind him and it folds around to me on the cutoff. I decide that with 5k in the pot and both limpers folding in excess of 90% of the time I can’t do anything other than move in here and fortunately I manage to find Qc Jc which makes my decision a lot easier. I ship my 29.5k in and the button immediately calls all in behind me for 15k. Fuck. Everyone else folds. ‘I hope you have AK’, I tell the button as I table my QcJc. To my surprise and delight, he tables ThTd and we’re off to the races!

Flop: Picture in the window! Excitement! Oh crap, it’s a king

Flop: Kd 8s 4c

No help so far. Queen please?

Turn: 3s

I don’t suppose I could bink the river…?

River: 8h

I guess not. So much for being back to an average stack. I sink back to 14k and open shove territory.

A few hands later, I find Qs 4h and jam over the same weak guy who limped UTG before when he limps again, he quickly folds and i’m back to 17k.

An orbit later, I open shove 15k with Ah Qs and find a caller in a horrible Asian player three to my left, he tables Ks Qc and I need to fade a king.

Flop: 2d 2h 8h

Hold, please.

Turn:9s

River: Ad

Excellent. I climb back to about 31k and life is good again. The average at this point is about 38k.

About ten hands later, it folds around to the weak-fishy button who limps, SB is a new player to the table, a young early 20s Irish guy with an Irish Poker Open card protector who has 3bet once and opened about 2 pots despite only having been here for an orbit. He’s short with about 16.5k. He elects to move all in over the limper and my first thought is ‘he’s an online player his range is any two’. I squeeze out Ah Tc in the BB which sucks because I was thinking ‘the minimum hand I reshove with here is AT’ before I looked at my cards. It’s a tough spot though since it’s live poker. I ask Irish Guy some questions and he seems nervous (i’m completely unconcerned about the button) so I decide to reshove. Button folds, SB shows AQ and I announce to the table that i’m really stupid because everyone in live poker is a nit until proven otherwise. The extremely loud New York Yankees fan at the next table who has been yelling all day looks over, perhaps amused that someone is almost as loud and annoying as he is. Anyway, I don’t suppose I could spike a ten perhaps?

Flop: QQ2

LOL, Donkaments. I guess not.

Turn: 9

River: 4

Well, that was fun. Sigh at being retarded; no one’s range is any two cards in live poker, because they’re all a bunch of nits. I sink back to about 13k with a few minutes left in the level.

I pick up the blinds open shoving Ts9s and then elect to jam 15k over the same weak-tight limper from the earlier hands who now has a similar stack to me. This time he calls and we both table AQ and chop it up. This guy is literally limping in over 50% of pots with a ridiculous range. He’s down to about 9bb and limps again; a couple orbits later after the blinds go up to 800/1600/200. I have ~11bb and I find Qs 9s and figure I fold out over half of his limping range because he’s just that much of a retard and move in again, this time he asks how much more and then elects to call and tables Ad Ah (the first time he’s actually had a big hand all day after limping).

Some spades would be nice. I tell villain that I have a nice hand to crack his aces with and i’m going to win this pot.

Flop: Js 4s 3d

Villain’s face goes all white as I ask for another spade.

Turn: 8h

More outs. Crack aces one time?

River: Kd

I guess not. I wish everyone luck and prepare to head to the rail, then realise i’m left with about 2800, good for a little over 1.5bb. Comeback time!

I fold my next two hands and then find myself in the big blind. Horrible Asian player raises to about 5500 (lol) and gets 4 callers (even more lol since the average stack at the table is about 30k). I throw my last few hundred in without looking at my cards and hope for the best; theres about 13k in the main pot and 15k in the sidepot.

Flop: Ts 7d 2c

This looks promising. Asian guy open shoves about 30k and the other three players fold. Asian guy tables 6d 6h (!?!?!?) and i’m very, very live.

I squeeze my first card and discover 9d. Well, that’s an okay start. I flip my other card and unfortunately, it’s the 3c

Turn: 7s

Well, hello! I now have three nines and three tens left in the deck that can save me.

River: Qh

Or not. I wish everyone luck and head to the rail, busting outside the money but in the top third of the field for what seems like the tenth time in my last twelve tournaments or something ridiculous like that.

I consider heading to the Rio to see how Ozone and doing and catch up with James who is grinding cash there but i’m really tired so instead I wander home, book my flight back to LA on the 15th and fall asleep shortly after.